I got fired up today thinking about this in my Sociology class. Early is the history of the United States, children were considered property of their fathers. Flash forward a few hundred years and we've seen a radical shift in the opposite direction. My parents are divorced, as are my wife's. We both were "awarded" in the custody of our mothers. In fact, according to www.childrensjustice.org, 37.9% of fathers do not have visitation rights.
Take a look at modern media. Many parenting magazines are overwhelmingly targeted towards women. Turn on your television, channels featuring parenting advice or parenting news also target women for their audience.
How did we get here? I am the father of a beautiful eight month old boy. Obviously, I am a student, while my wife works outside the home. That means a great deal of traditional parenting relies on me. I pick Jack up from daycare, take him home, feed him, play with him, read to him and sing to him. My wife, Christine, is also involved with Jackson but feeding him in the mornings and getting him ready for daycare. We do a pretty good job of splitting up our responsibilites so that neither of us is overwhelmed. We have a great life together.
But many families don't work out. In many cases, it is just assumed the child will end up with the mother. Is this because women are fundamentally better parents? I don't buy that argument. I believe fathers are just as capable to raise a child as mothers. We also know that men tend to make more money than women. So is the discrepancy in court awarded single mother households due to income or lifestyle? I don't think so.
I believe ultimately the discrepancy lies in the traditional norms that women are the ones responsible for raising children and that child custody hearings mirror that norm. Unfortunately, for the children involved it's a no win situation. Ultimately, it is my belief that children are best raised in a home with two loving parents, something that divorces rarely accommodate.
Jason Herbert
AMH 1041
TR 10:05
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2 comments:
I agree completely. There is a traditional stance that women are generally the ones in charge of taking over the home. I also agree that the children ultimately can take no part in the debate and are almost always forced against will. It's terrible.
Nicole Cass
AMH1041 TR 1005a
I agree, I have a son also and my baby's father and I are not together. We split a lot of the responsibilities. We don't have any harsh feelings towards one another. I know my place and he know his. I know what you mean when you say a child should be in a home with two parents, but in my case my son sees his father and me a regular basis. Now that I'm in school i I don't see as much as i use to, but it's all good. Now that I'm in college my baby stays with his father. Now my baby's father has the chance to see what us mothers go through.
Annie Lawrence
AMH1041 TR 1005a-1120a
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